One of the most common life challenges I hear from new clients is “I don’t know what my life purpose is” or “I’m not sure what I’m here to do”.

It’s a frustrating place to be. I know. Believe it or not, I was there at one point. I’ve been there more than once, actually. “How can that be?” You might ask. “If you figured it out once, why would you ever have the question again?”

Let me tell you.

The first time I remember having the question was in my early 30’s.

I remember seeing some rock star being interviewed, I think it was Bon Jovi, and he was talking about how all he ever wanted to do, from the time he was a child, was play music. I remember thinking, “Wow, how cool to know from a young age what you wanted to do with your life.”

I don’t know about you, but when I was young there were a variety of things I thought I wanted to do and be when I grew up. It started out as a hair stylist (probably because my mom had a weekly visit to hers) and from there it was a surgical nurse; that is, until I saw the reality of what it was like to be in an operating room on some TV documentary, with all the blood and guts. That took care of that.

I was making a very good living in the technology field. I was a contract software instructor. I worked when and how often I wanted, which for me was about 3 to 4 days a week. I played a lot on our boat. I travelled to places like Roatan, Honduras and Cozumel to scuba dive with my husband and went on all-inclusive dive boat charter trips. Life was good!

And yet, I remember standing in the kitchen one morning, coffee cup in hand, having this conversation with my husband about how it just wasn’t enough. Something was missing. I just didn’t feel like this was what I was meant to do for the rest of my life. I wanted to have a bigger impact. I wanted to help people change their lives, not just the way they worked.

That led to my work as a career coach and professional speaker.

Fifteen years later, my husband and I suffered great personal financial loss from the economic fallout of 2008. In addition, as a result of some life transitions, I had moved away from the work that really gave me joy.

I found myself once again asking “Why am I here?”

purpose

We’re back to that question, if you figured out your purpose once, why would you need to figure it out again?

Sometimes we move away from what we know to be true for ourselves. We get off track, for a variety of reasons: life transitions, moves, money, etc.

And sometimes, you evolve, personally and in your business. You reach a sort of plateau and find yourself asking, “So, what’s next?”

This is when it is necessary to stop and assess your life path. You have all the answers inside you. Your spirit knows what makes you happy; what gives you joy. You just need a way to reconnect with that.

When you find yourself in that place of stuckness, here’s a process you can try:

1. Carve out an hour or so for some quiet time. Find a place you can go to be undisturbed. If it’s hard to find a quiet space in your home, then drive somewhere, a park, the beach, sit in your car if you have to!

Is your head already finding reasons why you can’t make that happen? I know, your life is really busy. But hey, this is your LIFE we’re talking about. Is your happiness and satisfaction worth an hour of your time? YES, it is. And guess what, no one is going to do this for you. Only you can make the choice, and it is a choice, to do this for yourself.

2. Next, take a few moments to silence your mind. Focusing on your own breath is a great starting point. Just notice the inhale and exhale of your own breath. I also like to do some yoga poses and meditation as another way to silence my mind and connect to my spirit.

3. With some blank sheets of paper begin contemplating and free-writing answers to the following questions:

  • What are some of the major points of transition in your life? Think of your life in terms of decades. What were the transitions, if any, in each decade?
  • What happened in each decade?
  • What shifted for you?
  • What values were tested for you, if any?
  • What kinds of questions did you find yourself asking?
  • And finally, what are the common themes?

Often, this process can identify some significant points of leverage for you.

Here’s the deal, your life story, the stuff you’ve dealt with, is often the same stuff you can help others with.

A colleague of mine went through a pretty contemptuous divorce and is now coaching individuals on how to go through the process with ease. She learned a lot from her own experience and is sharing what she learned and the tools she used to not only survive, but thrive through it as a result.

But back to you. What if you do the exercise I suggested above and come up empty? What if you still don’t have a clue why you’re here? Then what? How do you figure it out? Usually the clues are literally right in front of you.

In my next post I’ll share how to identify them using a powerful back-door method.

Check back for that! I’ll be posting it in the next couple of days.

With good energy,

Debra Wilson Guttas

 

 

P.S. I’m doing a free training next week where we’ll dive into this topic more deeply. Check back soon for more information on that!

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What are you not seeing?

November 21, 2014

 

During a Strategic Planning Session yesterday with a business owner, we were exploring avenues for her to find clients for the new business she’s launching. Her business model lends itself well to both men and women. When I asked her which gender she likes to work with most, she said “both” but she followed that with “I don’t really understand women”. She then stated that she felt there was some room for personal growth and learning there so she was going to focus on women because “Working with men is easy”.

She talked freely about how she loves men and how all her friends are men and then she said “Men are FUN!”

When she said those words her voice elevated and her energy shifted into high gear. It was clear to me that this is where her heart is!

She acknowledged she has this ability to take men deep into their emotional stuff – which is key to the work she does. That ability is something that makes her different. Most likely there are men who will open up to her in a way they would never feel safe in opening up to another man. That’s her gift, and yet she was going in another direction because of some underlying belief that she “should”.

Here’s the bottom line. You come into this world with gifts, things that are effortless for you. That my friend is where the gold is!

If you capitalize on what’s easy and natural for you, your business will flow. You’ll be more excited and motivated about it. Doing the work of the business will come easier for you because you’re having fun. When you’re having fun you’re tapping into what gives your spirit joy and when you do that, the money flows!

There’s often a misconception that “If it’s easy for me, it must be easy for everyone else” and then there’s no value in it. “I can’t charge for that” or “I can’t make a business out of that” because “Doesn’t everyone know how to do that?”

Not necessarily!

I’ve seen this belief play out a lot with artists or even those in the healing professions. They often discount the fact that something that comes from their soul, something they eat, live and breathe and that gives them such joy is something they have a right to not only make a living at, but a very good living!

What do your friends and colleagues acknowledge you for that for you seems straightforward and comfortable? Are you discounting its value? Does it come so easy that it’s hard to wrap your head around why it wouldn’t be easy for everyone else? Most likely that’s a special gift or talent. Embrace it!

This one insight can save you light-years of frustration and fast-track your success in business because you won’t waste time trying to make your business be what you think it should be vs. what gives you joy.

What are you not seeing about you and your business? Let’s find out in your own complimentary Strategic Planning Session. I only have a few spots left!

With good energy,

Debra Wilson Guttas

 

 

P.S. The replay of the webinar on how to Expand Your Business & Income in 2015 ends today. If you missed it, you can view HERE for the rest of today only.

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ReadySetGROW

In my last post we talked about how procrastination is really a form of resistance, and that resistance is really an unconscious avoidance to some sort of pain or discomfort like feelings of failure, inadequacy or even overwhelm. In the end, it’s what stops you in your tracks and prevents you from gaining progress or taking action on your goals.

There’s a tendency to slow down once the holiday months roll around.

But as of today, there are 54 days left in 2014!

You still have time to end the year on a strong note. Here are 5 powerful steps you can take:

  1. Go back and review your goals and vision for 2014. Take a real honest look at what you set out to accomplish. What feelings do you notice as you do your review? Do you have a sense of excitement “WOW! I’ve done so much more than I realized!” Or instead did your stomach go into knots with feelings of failure or disappointment at having missed your mark? Are you feeling like you’d just really rather not think about it? Hang with me here!
  2. Review what you HAVE accomplished. How does that match up with your vision for the year? Did something shift? Did you get distracted and off course?
  3. Identify the one goal that was the most important to you this year that you haven’t yet met. Does it still matter to you? If not, skip it and go on to the next most important. Review each goal and then decide which one goal, if taken action on, would yield you the most return between now and the end of the year.
  4. Now ask yourself these three questions about that goal: 1) Why do you want this goal? 2) What does it give you? 3) What will this goal help you feel? Write down your responses. Do you still want it? Is it still as important as you thought it was? If yes, continue on to step 5. If not, go back to your list and identify a different goal.
  5. Write down three actions you can take in November towards reaching your high-priority goal. Now, look at your calendar, exclude any holiday travel and time with family, and block out times in your calendar, on specific days, to take those actions. Leave some room for some flux because, let’s face it, stuff happens! Now write down three more actions you can take in December and plug them into your calendar.

Give yourself some down time with family, but at the same time, push yourself a little. The last two months of the year do not have to be a vortex of lost momentum.

Last year around this time one of my clients had just formed her business idea. By the end of the year she was working part-time at her day job and part-time on her dream business. By the end of the first quarter of this year she was already in action selling her services and getting a support team in place. By the 3rd quarter she had quit her job and was working her business full-time! A lot can happen in a very short period of time when you have all the right systems and structures in place. 

Applying these steps will get you that much closer towards reaching your target than you would have otherwise, and, you’ll probably find that it gives you a new sense of energy at having made some progress.

Save the Date!

Join me next Thursday in a free training I’ll be hosting where I’ll show you the common root causes of inaction and I’ll give you practical but powerful action steps you can take to move yourself forward in 2015 in a way you didn’t know was possible! It all starts with implementing the three vital structures necessary for taking action with consistency, clarity and purpose.

In my next post I’ll outline some of the common business pitfalls or mistakes we often make as business owners and show you how you can avoid them.

In the meantime, let me know your thoughts by posting your comments below, or on my Conduit for Self-Healing Facebook page. If you’re feeling brave, post what three actions you intend to take between now and the end of the year so you can finish the year strong.

Stay tuned!

With good energy,

Debra Wilson Guttas

 

 

P.S. Mark your calendar! On November 13th I’m going to be hosting a FREE online training “Ready. Set. GROW! – 3 vital structures your business needs to triple its expansion & income in 2015”.

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ReadySetGROW

It’s that time of year, you know, you’re in the last quarter and you’re starting to feel that sense of “CRUD. I’m so far from reaching my income goals for the year…again.”

This can evoke all kinds of reactions, such as:

Avoidance. “The holidays are almost here. I’ll just get through them and then I’ll figure out how to do things differently next year.”

Disappointment and self-criticism. “Why is it that every year I find myself repeating the same pattern?”

Feelings of failure. “At this rate, I’m never going to have the kind of success I want for myself.”

I see this all the time in my work with clients. They’re very accomplished, highly intelligent and driven business owners. And yet, somehow, they can’t seem to make any real progress year over year. And they’re frustrated or worse, feel disempowered; like there’s something wrong with them.

I read recently that the #1 reason stated by individuals for not reaching their goals was – procrastination.

But I think it’s much deeper than that. You had a dream when you started your business, why would you intentionally procrastinate when it came to growing it?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to see if you can get to the root of the problem:

  • Did you make your goals so large and then get discouraged when you saw that you weren’t making any headway?
  • Did you chunk your goals down into measurable action steps? And then calendar them?
  • Were you using a shotgun approach to your marketing, going after a bunch of different products or services in the hopes that something would stick?
  • Have you lost the passion or enthusiasm you once felt for your business?
  • Are you doubting that you have a viable business service or product?

This kind of honest reflection can be pivotal in uncovering the resistance behind your lack of action. Resistance is really an unconscious avoidance to some sort of pain or discomfort: the pain or discomfort of not living up to your own (or someone else’s) expectations or feelings of failure or shame or inadequacy or even overwhelm.

If you dare to go deep, and have an honest conversation with yourself, you can consciously decide to make a different choice.

In my next email I’ll reveal 5 Powerful Steps You Can Take to Finish 2014 Strong.

In the meantime, let me know your thoughts by posting your comments below, or on my Conduit for Self-Healing Facebook page. If you’re feeling brave, post what three actions you intend to take between now and the end of the year so you can finish the year strong.

Stay tuned!

With good energy,

Debra Wilson Guttas

 

 

P.S. Mark your calendar! On November 13th I’m going to be hosting a FREE online webinar “Ready. Set. GROW! – 3 vital structures your business needs to triple its expansion & income in 2015”.

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